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Now you may believe you are so bright,
And you may not see how they confine your sight,
And maybe you wake up late at night,
Wondering why you feel so tired,
Well my dear, let me tell you now,
Do you hear,
It’s only fear, only fear, it’s only fear,
Yes it’s only fear, only fear, it’s only fear,
Yes it’s only fear, only fear, it’s only fear,
That keeps you locked in here.
Alexi Murdoch – It’s Only Fear
I just watched Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED talk on nurturing creativity. She gets pretty deep into the concepts of genius and the fear of failure. Any one who has had any creative success – a great performance, an A on a paper, accolades from your friends at your rapier-like wit, whatever – knows this fear. There is the initial fear of actually creating something in the first place. Then there is the fear that you will never create something that good again.
When we don’t write, it’s not that we become disenchanted or bored from our work, it’s that we fear we might fail when we return to it. We tell ourselves what we’ve written isn’t really very good anyway and that writing more will only compound the craptitude of our work.
You gotta love the human mind.
Once we corral our rampant fear, the only thing to do is jump on its back and ride it like a night hag until it falls into the deep sleep of exhaustion. By occupying our minds with character and story and words and all that good stuff that keeps us writing, the fear has no place to take root.
Yes it’s a familiar feeling that I struggle with often but I find that if I stay busy thinking about the story and getting it down, there’s no room for worry.
Work always seems to keep the gremlins away. When we’re busy, there are fewer places in the mind where they can set up shop. Thanks for stopping by!
I think writers often have a fear of success as well. If we finish that novel, if we love it, then we have to do something with it. People will be expecting us to send it out, to get it published. And that’s a whole different world that most unpublished writers have no experience in. I try to drown my fear in excitement. What a ride it’s been!
I guess that’s it – enjoy the ride and hope you end up where you planned or at least somewhere nearby. Fear is a lonely thing, I just try to remember that everyone has fear, it’s more a matter of mastering it/containing it and staying on task. I like the idea of drowning fear in excitement. Nice!
Thanks! needed that! especially the big about riding the night hag…hahahahahaha
Glad I could be of service ;-).
This is going to sound crazy . . . well, maybe not . . . but I spent some money on a web site and hiring an editor so I wouldn’t throw my novel in the trash. Not because I think the book is the work of a genius but because I am so afraid of failure. It’s a scary thought to do all this work, then what if everyone hates the novel or my writing?
So I figured if I spent some money on the endeavor, I would follow through. So far, it’s worked. Every time I’ve thought of throwing in the towel, I’ve remembered the money I’ve spent and make myself keep going.
Even if I fail at being a novelist, I can honestly say I gave it my best shot.
Thanks, Jonathan, that was a great topic!
Teresa
Being able to keep working at it whatever motivations help us is key. If it’s a donut, or a new book, or, like you say, feeling like you’ve sunk too much in, that you’ve come to far to quit, it doesn’t matter. As long as it works for you. I don’t mind failure if I know I’ve done my best. If I just chucked it all right now, that would gnaw at me for the rest of my life.
I dread the thought of disappointing my family if it turns out I’m not as talented as they think I am. It makes me drag out the revisions on my novel, putting off the day I’ll have to start querying.
Isn’t it crazy the way our mind works? We’re always wary of being exposed for the frauds we’ve convinced ourselves we are (from time to time anyway!). Do you get those thoughts when you are writing or when you are away from it?
For me, that is where the “write everyday” maxim comes in. It’s the only way to keep the fears away. If I am entrenched in the story I don’t have time to worry and angst…the moment I am out of it though….lock the liquor cabinet!
Work the worry away. I like that. MMMmmmm. Liquor.