Today marks the one year anniversary of the death of my friend Jesse. I think about him every day and miss him like hell. Over the last several years we didn’t talk as much as either of us would have liked, but when we did, we just picked up where we left off. Jesse was easy to be around and quick with a laugh. Our friendship was built around humor and our days working together in archaeological pursuits.
Here is a Walt Whitman quote that he asked me to read at his wedding. It captures his spirit so very well:
This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body…
I’ll miss you, man.
Last week I was looking for some old family photos in my box(es) of prints, and found pictures of Jesse in the field and at your wedding. The next day, the drive home from work found my mind wandering back to those pictures, and those good times, and I cried for the rest of the drive. For him, and for Jennifer and everything she’s had to go through.
I hear you. I’ve been on edge lately. I don’t know how much has to do with Jesse being gone, but I know it’s part of it. I’m getting all choked up now. Thanks so much for sharing that. Hope you and Kristie are well.
Breaks my heart and I grieve not only for Jesse and his family but for you Jonathan and the pain of losing a dear and treasured friend. I go to bed with tears on my face. I loved him too. You’re both in my thoughts.
Thanks for the kind words.
I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁 They say time heals all wounds, but it really sometimes doesn’t.
When I miss those I’ve lost, I often find a sort of peace from this Stonewall Jackson quote:
“Let us pass over the river, and rest in the shade of the trees.”
Ain’t that the truth. It’s easy to pick the scabs right off and feel the wounds anew. Jesse would have liked that quote. Thanks.
I found this comforting after my dad died and thought of it today when I saw the other quote above. It’s credited to Mary E. Frye. This is the confirmed version.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
It’s true. There are so many good things that remind me of Jesse. He still makes me smile. Thanks.